Sunday, March 15, 2009

Week Ten / Day One

The Ides of March

A fantastic, non-metaphorical storm blew in and through, yesterday. Like a big-budget, special effect, it loomed on the horizon and grew, relentlessly, as it thundered toward the shore and Melbourne. Wind and driving rain for hours put me in the BEST mood...
My little Aussie flag on the balcony got wet, wet, wet... Looking beyond it, though, one can see that some green is beginning to show in the parks, across the street. We could do with several more days of rain, like this; give the parched and thirsty flora in and around Melbourne a chance to renew itself into the Garden Spot for which this city used to be reputed. 

I do so love weather like this; it reminds me of the Oregon Coast... I love grey, wet days; it brings out my creativity, and I do my best writing in damp, overcast weather. It must be the Vampire in me...

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Well, the virtual cards and letters came flooding-in, after last week's work-related post. I have been reminded, through this, of the tremendous wealth of friends I do have; and of the immense trove of talent and experience embodied in this group...in y'all...and of the faith placed in me by those who care. Psychologists, HR Professionals, Executives, many who've shared this same experience and the odd hunter/trapper, offering to off the source of my frustration, have each and all stepped forward with excellent advice. 

That, and a brief, long-distance reading by my San Jose-based psychic, truly helped bring all this into focus and -- after an intense week of inner angst -- much has come into focus, and the pressure seems relieved.

My opportunity is to recognize that the best way for me to be able to make a valuable difference is to be available, offer what is possible, do what is embraced and keep my presence here perceived as an asset. Perhaps not the asset it might be, were I to really be able to dig in and do; but a welcome asset if I don't attempt to levy or force ideas, concepts and methodologies down anyone's virtual throat. I can "teach" or mentor only by doing; by working shoulder-to-shoulder with my producers, offering ideas on approaches to production and truly being okay with whatever is accepted, attempted or eschewed.

My producer in Perth is entirely different. From New Zealand, she's been around, a bit; worked in the UK for several years as a Head Chef, went into production, is a black belt in kickboxing, is very easy on the eyes (is that sexist?) and a strong, sweet person.  She has her ways of doing things, as well.  Last week, she indicated she was resistant to offering the complete level of detail I include in my timelines/runsheets for a production; that it made her uncomfortable. My response was to tell her not to do it, then; that I didn't want her calling her show with a document that made her uncomfortable, and that she should do it her way with my full support.  I explained my rationale for building the documents the way I do (and those of you who've worked with me know what I'm talking about with my by-the-quarter-minute timelines); and went on to say that that's just the way I do it, not necessarily the "right" way.

All in all, it's her show and she needs to be completely comfortable; no sweat.

The next day, she called me and said she'd been thinking about it and can see why I do it the way I do it and can we try it, that way. So, we're building the document, together, as a test-run. This is The Way.

The thing is, the secret is, that it truly has to be okay with me for it not to be done "my" way. I must share perspectives, points of view, methodologies with no investment beyond the sharing. This little revelation is the key to making this year one of which I will be proud, and from which I will have success, personal and professional.

There is a lot that is "wrong" with how things have begun to play out, here: I cannot live in that frustration, I can do nothing about those things and "win." Forcing compliance or response will only be met with resistance. I loved Australia before I came for this; that is where my head needs to be, now. 

So, that is where I've come. I think my zen, my discipline, will be in the ongoing practice of letting go; yet I think that is the best thing for this company and for me. The only way to make a positive difference is to be in a context where that contribution is wanted and welcomed. It is my responsibility to nurture that atmosphere.

I feel a lot better about this.

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My path to the gym takes me on an overpass that rises a few stories aboveground such that for about 30 yards I am adjacent to a third-floor gym in an apartment building on the route. Friday evening, as I walked, gym-clothed and pumped-up, past this gym, there was a cute kid ("kid" being relative, he was probably about 28) doing sit-ups with his hands behind his head on one of those big, rubber balls, facing out the window as I was passing, about 20 feet in front of him.  I glanced up and, without missing a beat in his sit-up rhythm, as he crunched forward, he looked me in the eye, smiled, and reached around to give me a thumbs-up, and kept on crunching.

I got a GREAT laugh out of this little hotness-acknowledgement. From a face and a person I'll likely never see, again, I got the word; "you're lookin' good, and you're gonna do OK!"