Sunday, April 26, 2009

Week Sixteen / Day One

This is a shot of the Western Australia Marching Band we found and featured to open the event I described, a few posts back. Founded in the late 1800's, it is actually the ONLY marching band in Western Australia... I don't know about the rest of the country; but, given the tremendous hit this band made, I'd better be researchin'!

It's gratifying that a number of our other clients who were in attendance at this event have immediately asked that we evolve or retool select, specific components of the evening such that they can enhance their own respective, upcoming events and ceremonies. Our clients are becoming more and more excited about what is possible when formats are deconstructed and, through collaboration with and trust in the creative group (us), become more specifically representative of the host institution AND able to gently surprise (or, as I like to put it, Comfortably Disorient) their audiences.

At a recent meeting of another Perth-based client, when the subject of what sort of theme might be most appropriate for the Awards Ceremony and Celebration was raised, I asked the date of the show. "Four July..." came the response; and the entire room went quiet as every face at the table turned to me with The Question...

"What do you think, Kile; would an American Independence Day theme be something we could do?!" Oh, I think we could probably do a more or less fantastic job of that, yes... 

So, no question we encore the marching band...but where the HELL am I gonna get baton twirlers?! There is no Drum and Bugle Corps culture, here in Oz; nor do high schools and universities (or, in Aussie, "uni") have corps du cheer. There do exist Cheerleader Camps and competitions, here in Oz; but thus far, nothing compares to Jay Howarth and her SF Spirit chicks or XFL Cheerleaders....or some of the fantastic LGBT Groups from Cheer San Francisco or Cheer Dallas....now, THAT would make for a memorable experience, downunda!

We need some damn, baton-twirling, rapid-fire CHEERLEADERS. (Sometimes, I have to appreciate just how lucky I am to have the problems I do have, surmounting some of the professional obstacles inherent in this business.)

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Professionally, it's been an exceptional week. Things at work have almost completely recalibrated; and we are becoming a team. The cohesion, cooperation and collaboration are beginning to coalesce and I see a not-too-distant future where we have all become a solid corps. 

Significant is the fact that, up until last week, our "open plan" office had everyone's desks facing the exterior wall; such that when one mounted the stairs and entered the work space, one was presented with the backs of the heads of the entire staff. Cold; not so welcoming. Last week, all the desks were turned around and the difference in the atmosphere of the office was immediate; warm, welcoming, convivial with a strong sense of team. Fantastic, really, the difference.

Our staff has nearly doubled in size, since my arrival, and we now have a strong, solid team of varied background; many of whom come to the proverbial table with a strong reputation and legacy in related business and industries. We're well-connected and eminently qualified for myriad projects of varying magnitudes. 

In the words of a respected and admired designer friend of mine of whom I am quite fond; "rock on!"

Our offices are nearly complete; and we have announced an "opening" for 22 May; at which he/we are "unveiling" and introducing the New Company Team. You are all invited. Hit me up for details.

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Personally....emotionally....physically...the reality continues to reveal itself for what it is. As I mentioned, previously; despite many enjoyable and successful relocations in my life, I had no idea how profoundly different is a move to another culture, another continent, another hemisphere...with no safety net or advisors. 

My NYC Men's group arranged for me to join them via iChat, last week. That was a most nurturing and healthy 90 minutes, face-to-faces; and I was able to participate and appreciate the support of this group of men who were there to throw me a lifeline during a very dark period, and who continue to offer candid support and unfiltered communication. It was great to be able to participate in that. Thank you, Apple.

I see, now, why larger companies have entire departments to shepherd professionals through and into the new cultures. The affects - though difficult to articulate - run disorientingly deep. Hence this nerve/skin affliction with which I've been dealing, these past three weeks, since NYC...and the relative fragility of my composure when I attempt to speak of personal things to others...to caregivers or friends.

I do know it will pass, and I also know it will take time...each time I believe I've learned to become patient, I realize that this quality of "patience" is relative and I have yet a bit to go... The only person pushing me is me, actually. My #1 has been candid and clear that 16 weeks is virtually nothing; that he's expecting months for me to feel settled and on solid foundation. Ergo, I need to embrace, adopt and absorb that perspective.

When my furniture finally arrives, that will likely make quite a bit o' difference in my sense of grounding.

Since my return from New York, Australia does seem significantly more familiar to me; more appropriately "home" ...and that feels VERY good. It enlightens me to progress made and progress that awaits.

...and, I continue to feel, acutely, a certain absence...

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Week Fifteen / Day One

Well, here's something I'd never seen, before now... It's probably fairly difficult to read, but the little sticker on the orange says it's a "Product of USA". (The stars and stripes on the label probably gave y'a clue.) While I believe I have seen "product of Florida" stickers, before; I don't recall seeing stickers such as this one. And let me say that these are delicious oranges, selling like hotcakes; the grocer can't keep 'em in stock.

I'm so proud! Actually, it is a bit of a hit to see such a label, out there for all to see, used as an enhancement to a product's marketability. They like us, they really, really like us...

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So, I'm back a week from the US and only just now recovering from the travel to NYC and Pittsburgh...what felt like a six-day flight to JFK, three, brief nights in NYC, two in Pittsburgh, two more in NYC and another 20 hours back to Melbourne. A virtual marathon, yet ultimately worth every moment of stress, sleeplessness and "sitting," twisted in a coach seat on Qantas. My poor spine.

Professionally, the CASE Keynote in Pittsburgh was a great hit. The feedback I received and am continuing to receive from the Development Professionals in attendance has been universally enthusiastic in the embracing of the methodologies I've shared and exploration of ways in which they can be applied to specific projects and programs of these institutions. It is simply great, great, great to be a part of reinvigorating people in their careers; helping them to get excited, again, and enjoy new commitment that generates as perspective opens.

Bottom line: much applause and no one walked out. I consider that a success...

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Personally, this trip was pretty wonderful. Being in NYC reminded me a bit of how I feel when in San Francisco. The place is intimately familiar, I know my way around, I can run into someone I know at any moment, I have a long and evolutionary history in that place, made contributions to the city and the city to me, and each city will always be a part of me. I could return, there, as I could to San Francisco: both cities are fundamental in having contributed to the man I have become...am becoming...will become.

I was fortunate to have timed this visit such that I was able to spend a session with what was my weekly men's therapy group. These men and the man who counsels us (as we also counsel one another) offered me a critical lifeline during one of the darkest times in my life, some years back; thus, will forever be a part of me. Being surrounded by these men of clarity who care for me while withholding neither criticism nor praise in their support of perspective and personal growth, even for that one evening, was a nurturing gift...as is every experience, with them.

Intimately, I will say only that the experience of my nights, there, have made my days, everywhere, far brighter. While there is no mitigating the pain of separation, I have now had my first experience of reunion after absence; and that experience was good. 

I found with this visit what I had been afraid to hope to find: what I feared might be absent or lost was present in abundance.

I am learning much about myself, through all of this...and I am learning to trust.

When I lecture and teach my methodologies for creation of experience, the first tenet I address is the Exploration of Assumption. What the audience may be assuming and, more importantly, what we - as creators of experience - may be assuming. There is a parallel, actually, in personal life and relationships, I believe. It is the spectrum of assumption concomitant with the carrying of baggage from previous relationships that can derail the most promising of new things. Recognizing this and cleaning out that closet; experiencing what is happening now as Now; taking things at face value, believing in the new phenomenon and entering what exists, step-by-step, may well be the only way to fully realize possibility.

...there is no rush when one is living in the Now and trusting things to be as they are.

So, I returned to Melbourne in a bit of a New Place. I was able to release a massive amount of anxiety - a subconscious burden I had borne for months. I have been able to see New York in it's new context with respect to me, and I am able to see Melbourne as a place not only more familiar, but as the place I need to be to build the future that awaits. I can make, and am already making, a positive difference, here; (most of) my ideas and approaches are welcomed and accepted as something to "give a go." And, as that go is given, I am delivering good results.

While things are grim, at home in NYC; things, here, are not quite so bleak. ...and, in that context, all the years of working within limited, non-profit budgets of which I have complained (ad nauseum, I know) now come to serve me in creating experience that can yield results beyond historical expectation in this new place. 

I'm appropriately located, just now.

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Physically, though, my bod has fallen apart. I think that the stress and angst from the pending move to the move itself to the awful, awful separation to the relocation to the disengagement to the having of no life and being cut off from Love and from my own personal history - I think that all that had been being kept bottled up. When so much of that tension was immediately relieved and released, on arrival in New York, I think my body sort of said, "Fine, then, stand back; I have some processing to do..." and WHAM: I have been beset by what has been described by my doctor as one of the worst cases of a certain skin and nerve-ending inflammation he has ever seen.

Holy COW, thie is a painful affliction...and ugly; two weeks later, it remains far from healed. When the doctor asked if I'd been under any undue amounts of stress, lately, and I burst into tears AND laughter; I think he had his answer. I'm probably lucky he didn't put me in a straitjacket. 

I thought this sort of affliction only happened to old peop....never mind.

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At lunch with #1, last week, he shared with me that he had been prepared for me to return to Melbourne at the end of the trip and tell him I needed to return to the US; that I couldn't do this. Acknowledging the magnitude of the upheaval under which my life has gone in coming here; he was ready for me to be reminded of how much it means to me, what is there for me in New York. He knows what I left behind, and he knows why I went to NYC and not only to Pittsburgh; and he said there would have been no hard feelings...but that he very much hoped that would not happen.

I find this profoundly sensitive and caring.

My return to Australia has been important and impactful for him, for me, for our partnership and for the company. In truth, it did not cross my mind to not return; I do know, intellectually, that this is the best place for me at this Moment. Accepting that, emotionally, has been the more profound hurdle. Ergo, the gentle and wonderful surprise, for me, is how much better I now feel at being here. Even more so when I appreciate that it has actually been only fifteen weeks...

Though the nights can seem so, so long; I know in my heart that they will pass, one by one, and these arms will, again, be full.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Week Fourteen / Day One

Trans Pacific, in the air

On my way to Pittsburgh, where

Audience awaits me, there

To share.

Twenty hours to JFK

Naps and movies all the way

Landing on the same damn day

Hurray.

First three nights are in Manhattan

Four boroughs and Island Staten

Happy to be there and back in

Town.

Welcome arms await and greet me

Time together sharing sweetly

Happy to be there completely

Good.

Doctor, haircut, chiropractor

Podiatrist = important actor

Hair care products also factor

In.

Onward to the Conference Talks

Much applause and no one walks

As I share what might flummox

and Teach.

How to make 'em weep and write

Checks for causes come to light

Taking wrongs and making right

Tonight.

Back to New York City, then

Gath'ring therapeutic men

Two more nights of affec-shen

with Him.

Heard advice from Wiser Head

Learned to hear what isn't said

Anticipate what lies ahead

We'll see...

Back to Melbourne, happier

Returning here and more secure

With what exists and can endure

Apart.

Arriving here, on balcony

Looking cross the street I see

Changes made while absent me

'Tis green!

Returned am I and well prepared

To continue what I've dared

Change my life: I have not erred

In moving.

Onward now, there's work to do

Rejuvenated, fresh and new

One by one doth grow the queue

Toward goal.

Good to know my friends do read

Of this journey I proceed

Difficult, I do concede...

...So glad to know you're there.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Week Thirteen / Day One

I am in transit. En route to Pittsburgh, where I am presenting the Keynote Speech to a CASE conference, on Monday.

More importantly, I have taken this opportunity to come to New York and spend quality and exclusive time with Someone Very Special to Me.