...To Bring You This Message

Week Twenty - Nine / Day Five

Well, the rug has been pulled out from under me, but I have not lost my balance; in fact, I find I may have gained an even stronger footing...

The business expansion that was envisioned in bringing me on board has not materialized, while the universally fragile economy has continued to wear away at the work that existed, going in. Much that was on the books is now off those books, and there is, quite simply, nothing for me to do at this company. So, I am returning home, to the U.S. and NYC...and someone very, very important to me.

This time, in Australia, has not been wasted; despite the scuttling of what had been planned. I have had an opportunity to test myself in a vacuum, and have come out on top. I have been able to make a difference in the work of a few, good organizations and help them to tell their stories more compellingly. I have met some GOOD people and tested my own mettle with some of the best professional talent that Oz has to offer; then delivered with resonant excellence. I have brought some theatre to a few ballrooms.

There has been frustration and profound loneliness; no question. The nights were never fully peaceful for the distant absence of one to whose heart I am so linked.

Personally, I think this is The Universe giving me the opportunity to make good on my promise to myself; to never again allow work to take precedence over relationship and commitment. It was the surfacing of this sojourn in Australia that brought to light and crystallized the depth and power of what exists between me and S.OMA*, and we were more or less ambushed by what we hadn't seen.

Now, more than a hundred days of further separation have been erased. I'll be home in a few weeks, and can live the commitment I harbor. That means, though I may travel for the work that I do, my home will remain close to where my heart is. From now, I will be available to nurture and support this precious, growing thing as it evolves into whatever it can become. Without attempting to predict an outcome, being present and available and giving it what it needs to unfold and to be.

We shall see.

Meanwhile, on the practical side, I'm packing up what's left of my life's evidence and accumulation that I brought over here, and tossing much that has revealed its extraneousness in this process. I'll come home with a few suitcases and my laptop, while storing the music and books and kitchen and artwork over here, until I have work that supports me and a destination to which this stuff might be shipped.

I'm putting out feelers at various projects, and this dispatch might light a fire or two (all 'round the world, we're hearing, "...thank GOD he's available; what's his email!? Get him on the phone!").

I may also be seeking a string of guest rooms and sofas as I seek my next project or affiliation. I don't want to burden anyone for more than a few days, unless it is sunny and you have a pool; in which case I wouldn't mind the sun on my skin...I haven't lived in summer, now, for a year...

So now, with steady breath and lightened shoulders, I turn my eyes to the sky and bid farewell to the Southern Cross. I'm going home to a new future; one that I will build from scratch, once again.

This time, though, my materials are far richer...

*(S. the Object of My Affection)