Idyllic, Soft-Core Weekend...

...and that's all I'll be saying about that, beyond mentioning how fortunate I am to have M'Guy in m'life. Things are wonderful with him, and my only struggle is to convince myself that I truly deserve the happiness we find in the arms of one another.

This week has been one of being reminded by longtime friends of things done, help offered, guidance given; key moments in their own lives wherein it turns out I've been of greater help or inspiration than I'd known. A dear friend who'd worked for me on a big project, long ago, took the opportunity to remind me of something I'd done for him which had a profound impact on him, at the time...something I'd completely forgotten. I remembered our working together through the lens of how great HE'D been at what he did for me.

After our conversation, he wrote me this; "...It made a huge impact on me when you [did that] in '94. And I always thought that's the kind of Executive Producer I'd like to be if I were ever to make it that far. So, YES, you did many things for me as I was learning from you and [I] use those things every day."

Needless to say, this man has made it "that far" and well beyond. To read words such as this from one so successful and respected and to know that I played a part in contributing to the compassionate professional he is today offers me a moving pride in him and in myself.

When I build teams for a project or production, I have always sought to give individuals of potential a bit more responsibility, more leeway, more autonomy than they may have had, previously; as though they are thrown-in, beyond their depth of comfort, and I serve as lifeline - when needed. I lay out vision, goals and objectives, and share my own methods for addressing each benchmark; then give each the freedom to address obstacles and create solutions...always keeping in mind the importance of fully realizing the Vision. Problems arise, and I look to the individual who has recognized the problem and alerted me to it to formulate the solution. I'll help and advise, but I keep the responsibility on the shoulders of the person under whose purview the problem lies.

This method is, I think, empowering and effective; showing trust...and, actually, resulting in my own methodologies and approaches being heard more readily and taken to heart when they are shared. I often learn as much from younger people creating their own solutions as they are able to learn from me. Collaborative & Socratic teaching through example...

I love to teach. Personally, I love the look on the face of an individual at the moment of epiphany, the wonder at the moment of realization or enlightenment; when that person realizes a capability beyond what s/he had expected or thought s/he was capable.

Years ago, and I mean YEARS ago, when producing my first tour for Stanford University, I took the kids from the ensemble into a recording studio to lay down their own backing tracks. Excellent college-level singers, none had ever been in a professional sound studio. Excited, headphones to ears, they lay down their tracks. Then, that first time they tried singing with themselves, as one their eyes widened in wonder at the feeling, the sound, the professional experience each was having at that singular moment. I felt like a father must feel.

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So, I was approached, out of the blue, and offered a job, this week. Actually, the job entailed a significant amount of teaching at the Professional Level; I would be perfect for this position, and the position is perfect for me. Unfortunately, the institution offering this position is offering such a low salary that I simply cannot, in good conscience, take the job.

It is extremely tough, any time - and especially in times such as these, to turn down a job when one hasn't any work. One valuable lesson I have learned, though, is that nothing good comes from accepting a position in which one is undervalued. Two things happen: first, one soon finds oneself being regarded, treated by the client, company or institution, at the value paid rather than the value bought; second, loyalty and commitment suffer when one has undersold oneself...and, when a better offer comes along, integrity can quickly suffer as the poorly paying position is jettisoned in favor of security and upward mobility.

If I am going to be paid poorly, then I shall take a low-paying position; I am willing to do that. Barista, Retail Associate, Cashier, Box Office...; once I have found one of these who will hire me, I'm happy to accept the Going Rate for such a job. (My troubles in that area are, it seems, my age and overqualifications. Argh.) 

So, I continue to seek. Networking and working the Net, writing proposals and sniffing out opportunities; I forge ahead with Recovery from Oz. In fact, the energy is healthy, the support has been warm and wonderful and often from surprising places...friends from long ago have stepped forward and spoken up with heartfelt and ongoing encouragement. This means so much.

Onward.