The Final Chapter

Yes, I think it's time to close this book. I believe this will be my final Blog Post.

The story is told; the arc is complete, and I believe I am back on firm footing. To Hell and Back, I've been, over the past two years, and neither the time nor the experience has been wasted. It's all been valuable.

To be fair; despite the disingenuousness of the man with whom I made my agreement with and for whom I abandoned my life in the US in order to move to Australia, I don't know that things would have turned out so differently had I remained in the US. The economy collapsed and my areas of the market(s) were of the hardest hit. I may have ended up losing my apartment, here, anyway; and who knows what would have happened to or with my client roster.

As it was, I had a good, professional proverbial trial by fire in Australia and came out with both a strong, practical confidence in my talent, creativity, skills and methodologies and the experience of meeting and befriending an unique collection of caring, nurturing people with whom I remain in contact and communication. This is not a Loss.

Upon returning to New York, I experienced a thorough shakedown in my perceived support network; with several to whom I had before felt close virtually disappearing while others with whom I had thought to have had only friendly acquaintanceships stepping forward, reaching out and revealing themselves to offer friendships of unusual resonance and depth. A powerful recalibration.

And, of Recalibrations: I think I've seen the bottom, again and hopefully for the last time. The Universe has rubbed my nose in scarcity and exposure, and I have experienced this fully, and survived.

My experience at The Apple Store SoHo has been of profound value to me; with respect to my own self-worth and with respect to my ability to parachute into a completely alien environment and make it work -- for me and for those in the new context. Yesterday, I took a friend down to the store to purchase her new MacBook Pro; and from the moment I walked in the door it was like a Homecoming; exclamations and shouts of "Kile!" and hugs and handshakes and "how's the new gig?" and "I heard you were in the store and wanted to come find you..."

I walked into that place, in November, hating myself and my life and knowing I was a complete failure and would never, NEVER fit into that culture. I've learned so well that I can always be wrong. Always.

That's good perspective...and one that can become intellectualized, all too easily. A good, practical tutorial in that fact, every so often, is not a waste...

I have also learned that there is such a thing as a Starbucks Gold Card! I am now, thanks to so many of you who sent me Starbucks Cards (that I registered, one after the other, as I used them up), the proud bearer of a special card that announces my Status as Gold Level at Starbucks. I mean, who even knew such a thing existed!? So, thank you all for taking such good care of me.

Thank you all for staying in touch, for accompanying me on this journey of excitement, disappointment, loss, grit, courage and renewal...and of friendship. What I have experienced was not special -- we all live tough lives -- other than that a lot happened in a relatively short time. Through it, though, I've received eloquent letters of support, strong and loving hands have been outstretched to catch me should I truly fall, learned that others have found support in watching me undergo the tests and trials I've encountered, and found some inspiration to support them in surmounting their own obstacles.

Life is tough for everyone.

So, now I am at a job I embrace; one that inspires me and to which I am confident and excited at the contribution I can make. I'll be traveling to London and San Francisco over the coming year; my two favorite cities. I have a wonderful apartment at the quiet end of 23rd street, just steps from the High Line and blocks from subway and gym; high ceilings and it's all my own. Within the year I'll have my stuff up from Australia, and within a few months I'll have a housewarming for all of you who've offered me sofas and beds, lunches and love.

And for those of you from out of town who share hearts with me from around the country; my door is always open to you, here...and the coffee is always on me!

As I mentioned, above; I will stop posting regularly to this blog, though I will not be taking it down. I know that I'll come back, occasionally, to read this or that part of it and remember the lessons that I've learned...keeping it in place in case it is useful. Thank you for reading what I write and for traveling with me through this vale of discovery.

Thank you all.